by Larry Morton
What does the color of one's Jeep say about that person?
I've seen a lot of Jeeps painted with just about every color and combination of colors under the proverbial rainbow. Some were subtle factory shades, while others looked like they were painted by Lady Gaga...and everything in-between.
So, I've come up with a few profiles of what some Jeep colors say about their owners. Here goes:Beige or tan
...this owner dreams of going on Safari or crossing the Gobi desert wearing goggles and chewing on a stubby cigar.Green
(any shade)...this owner is a member of Green Peace and can't pass a tree without hugging it...lives in a commune and his/her other vehicle is a bicycle.Purple
...this owner feels tremendous guilt about everything...regrets buying the Jeep when a more practical Toyota Corolla would have sufficed.Orange
...this owner is either a University of Texas fan, or misses Anita Bryant and those orange juice commercials.Gray
...this owner has a gloomy personality and couldn't think of a real color to spray over that primer.Blue
...this owner is laid back, always wears sunglasses, loves listening to B B King whilst sipping on a mint julep, and negotiating the Rubicon Trail...all at the same time.Yellow
...this owner needs
this bright sunshine color to find his/her Jeep in a crowded parking lot...or to be a reminder of past days as a cab driver.Red
...this owner has a fiery temper and is extremely passionate. Oh...wait a minute...I was thinking of red-heads.Black
...this owner exudes "cool" and is obsessive about polishing the black beauty Jeep every day rain or shine...or, this person is a government employee.Brown
...this owner is a computer nerd and wears plaid shorts with a button-down collar striped shirt and loafers...with white socks.White
...this owner lives in a very hot climate, and constantly tells owners of "black" Jeeps how this color reflects the heat...and doesn't show dirt as much.Pink
...this owner is hopefully female...and if not...we just won't go there.Multiple Colors, Graphics, Logos, etc.
...this owner either works in the circus...or had this Jeep painted by a 3 year old...and finally,Camouflage
...this owner is either an avid hunter...or belongs to some radical militia group hunkered down in the wilderness of Idaho.
There you have it. I hope no one was offended by my profiling of Jeep owners and their colors. If you were offended, please seek counseling before it's too late.
I'm dialing the phone right now because I'm pretty sure I have a split personality...since I own a Red Jeep AND
a White one. Yikes!